Throughout most of my life I was on a crusade—that I'm still on, even though it is no longer even applicable.
Perhaps it's just my hearing. But I have never been able to identify a phone caller by her/his voice (their voice, which I have increasingly been aware is the new normal for a singular, gender-neutral pronoun, whether or not I approve). Anyway, I can't identify a caller who says, "Hi, Ann."
My crusade has consisted of trying to change that behaviour, one caller at a time. I am very gentle and calm and happy to take it all on myself—that is, to say, "I'm sorry. I just can't identify you by voice. When you call you really have to announce who you are." This is better than saying, "You stupid idiot! You expect me to identify you from two words? What an arrogant, self-centered person you are!" That would be even less polite than not identifying yourself on the phone.
Now surely I shouldn't have to carry on this crusade at all. Are people so self-assured and self-centered that they actually think their very voice radiates themselves? Or do they imagine I am so bereft of friends—having only three, say—that I will immediately know which of the three this person is? What is in their heads? We learned telephone manners when I was young, and one of the lessons was: identify yourself right off the bat. From the get-go. First thing. As in "Hi, Ann. This is Marla" (not the real name of anyone I know). Now, that isn't so hard, is it? And yet there are half a dozen people among my acquaintances who expect me to recognize them when all they say is simply "Hi, Ann."
But you have already, I'm sure, picked up on the fallacy of this crusade of mine as we move into the technological nightmare we call the future. Everyone and his brother now has caller ID on his telephone (everyone except me, that is). So they know even before they pick up who is on the other end of the line. (I say "line" even though it's no longer a line.) And they expect me—and all curmudgeons like me—to have a similar caller ID, so why should they identify themselves? They expect me to know, just as they know.
Thus, my crusade is superannuated. Past its prime. No longer relevant. I will have to give up on the goal of educating the world about phone manners. But that doesn't mean I'll give up on the more personal level.
If you call me and I answer, saying, "Hello." And you say "Hi, Ann", then I'm telling you to expect a long silence (a disapproving one) and then a frosty "I'm sorry. You'll have to tell me who you are." And then you can identify yourself and perhaps tuck this piece of information away so the next time you call me you'll be ready with a very simple, "Hi, Ann. This is Carol." (Please use your own name here, not Carol's.)
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