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When they asked how I was today I said, "Oh, okay," in that downward voice that means that I'm not okay at all. And then just moments later I remembered that I don't have to be that way. I can say, "Fantastic!" and mean it. I mean both of these answers, in fact. But the "fantastic" feeds the part that I want to nourish. So I answer you now: "I'm great!"
Blessings in my life are astounding, as they are in all our lives. We have only to acknowledge them.
How about the blessing of abundance, for starters? Is there anything else you need, beyond what you already have? What abundance you enjoy!
And how about friendship? I know that friendship is there for the taking, if I simply open my heart. Open my heart? Just writing those words brings me to a standstill. Is it so difficult, then? Do you want to stay stuck forever, waiting for it to open? Just do it, dammit!
Okay. Friends for the asking. A loving husband. Three beautiful children. Four beautiful grandchildren.
Now I'm slowing down. Why is this becoming so hard? Other people make lists of blessings all the time. Why am I getting stuck? What's happened here?
Okay, continue. Blessings. Blessings in my life: crows; wolves; linden trees blooming in early summer. You're walking along and are suddenly assailed by a sweetness that stops you dead in your tracks and then you remember what that smell is and start looking around for the neighborhood linden tree.
Blessings: the heron sitting on the stump in the pond. Then the heron wading, looking for breakfast. He lifts one long leg slowly, the water undisturbed as he wades through it. He puts that leg down an inch farther along, then lifts the other leg. Any little fishy there will think those legs are just sticks. Unwary little fishies become breakfast for that grand old man of the pond.
Music. Ineffable music. Musicians are a breed apart, their lives bound up with the inexplicable. They can make the music, but their talk is incomprehensible except to another musician. Oh, how I've always wanted to be part of that world. But instead I'm just a chamber-music groupie. Maybe if I practice the cello or the piano every day in this life, I can be a professional musician the next time around.
Fabric, with its blessings of texture and color. Velvet. Satin. Crisp organza. Rough Irish tweed. Slinky knits. Can these be blessings? Well, of course. They're all embraces from the gods. These are our rewards for life's vicissitudes, for the difficulties of living through this physical existence.
I need to remember to take stock every day, to remember at least a few of these things every day. I need to acknowledge that there are blessings to counter the Joe Bfstplk cloud of gloom that wants to hang over my head. Maybe remembering some blessings every day will line that cloud with silver.
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