What I need to say to bring myself to the present

Oh, and isn't THIS the right topic?

First, I must pretend it means

bringing myself more presents

'cause everyone likes presents.

 

I have to waste time being superficial and clever

and avoid going in for as long as I can.

Then I have to go in anyway

and answer the question.

 

So here's the answer:

I need to say to myself,

let go.

 

I need to say:

move into chaos with good grace

and see what comes from it.

Maybe nothing will come.

 

Are there goals?

Not yet.

Chaos is not about goals.

Chaos is about waiting.

I need to say:

Teach yourself to wait,

because if you don't

the Universe will step in

with its own version of

teaching you to wait.

 

What do I need to do to bring myself more present?

Breathe.

Go heavy.

Feel my body.

Be in my hand as I write.

Watch my fingers wiggle as they form words on the page.

And as I look at those overgrown, damaged knuckles

I realize, to my surprise,

that these are my mother's hands.

 

What do I need to say to bring myself more present?

Feel, I need to say,

the roots of your feet sinking slowly

into the Mother Ground.

 

Acknowledge these roots, I say to myself,

so you can stand firm,

sure at last that you belong

in the world.

 

 

Copyright 2009 Ann Tudor   

www.anntudor.ca
http://scenesfromthejourney.blogspot.com