My Personal Opinion, a Dialogue

--Well, it's MY personal opinion that . . .

 

--Whoa! Stop right there. I don't remember asking to hear your personal opinion.

 

--You don't know what I was going to say. Or even what the topic was going to be.

 

-—Okay. Were you going to give me your personal opinion on hard candy? Or mashed potatoes? Or the new Atom Egoyan movie?

 

--No, not really. Though I could if you want. No, I was going to give you my opinion about something you do, a habit you have.

 

--Aha! I thought so. I go back to my original statement: I don't remember asking to hear what you think.

 

--I thought we were friends.

 

--We are.

 

--Friends can say whatever they want to each other.

 

--Not if they value the friendship, they can't. I just read a Buddhist writing on how being in the moment also covers being aware of our speech, avoiding saying hurtful things to others. Watching our language.

 

--But you don't know what I was going to say. Don't you trust me?

 

--Maybe I don't. Maybe I'm suspicious of your motives and I think you want to slap me down.

 

--Now why would I do that? In my opinion, you need to stop mistrusting your friends! But that's not what I was going to say. Can I give you my personal opinion now? You might not hate it as much as you think.

 

--Let's see. How far do I want this friendship to open up? I don't mind having a few barriers between us, you know. A barrier-let's say, a door—can be open or shut. And a closed barrier is an effective barrier. That's what I always say.

 

--So you're shutting me out?

 

--Not permanently. After all, everything changes. This will probably change, too.

 

--If the friendship doesn't get frozen out in the meantime. At some point, you know, you're going to have to learn to trust your friends.

 

--How did we get on to this topic? Leave me alone!

 

--All right. But here are some of the personal opinions you might want to listen to. I love hard candy, especially butterscotch—those round flat ones that fit so well into the roof of your mouth. Mashed potatoes, ditto. Always a fave, especially when they're mashed with celery root or rutabaga, with lots of butter. And I haven't seen Atom Egoyan's new movie yet, so I don't have an opinion. Are you satisfied?

 

--Thanks. I must tell you that this isn't about you, or whether I trust you. It's just about me and how afraid I am that you'll say something bad about me. You have to admit that when someone starts off with "well, if you want my personal opinion. . ." it usually doesn't augur well. Sounds suspiciously like the beginning of a put-down.

 

--Luckily, my stupid memory has done its usual. With all this talk I've forgotten what it was I wanted to say in the first place. So let's just forget it. Let's aim for a friendship with warmth. Forget about the openness for now.

 

--A friendship with warmth. A warm friendship. Yeah, I can handle that. And for the time being, we can both keep our personal opinions to ourselves.

           

 

Copyright 2013 Ann Tudor

www.anntudor.ca
http://www.scenesfromthejourney.blogspot.com