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Imagine a mask. If I put it over my face, would I automatically have thick, dark hair? Would I be a different person, empowered to act in a different way? I think I'd be bolder. More assertive. Surely I'd be happier—or at least I would appear happier. Probably I'd have better teeth and would therefore smile more widely. Oh, with a mask on my teeth wouldn't show anyway. Okay, forget the teeth.
Maybe in a mask I'd even have a different wardrobe, but that (like the teeth business) is just too superficial to mention. Back to essentials: who would I be under that mask? Whose actions would I be performing?
Well, with my face hidden I'd be quite a bit younger, and that would change everything. I'd be in my 40s. Much younger than my children are now, even, and more or less my whole life would lie ahead of me. But you know, I wouldn't change a thing. My life has had a trajectory (though I wasn't ever aware of it at the time) that has brought me to here. And this is where I want to be. In this life, this part of my life. So I might as well take off the mask of this dark-haired beauty and rest in the love of myself that has been so hard-won.
Musings blog: http://www.scenesfromthejourney.blogspot.com
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