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Who knows where I read it. One spiritual self-help book or another. They pass through the house in a stream of ruffling paper. At any rate, here's what I read, more or less: begin each day, just as you awaken, with an "ohm." Then, as your feet touch the floor, intend that they will guide you into/toward the beauty of the day.
At least I think those are the two things I was told. But no matter what I was told, here's how it has played out in my mornings. Obviously I felt a need to respond to the suggestion to take an active role in directing my day. So the very first day—and every day since—I have awakened and the first sound that has come to my mind is "Ole!" I'm pretty quick to notice that that's probably not the right "o" word, and "ohm" follows right on its heels. But still, "Ole" is apparently how I want to greet the day.
And as my feet hit the floor (as my feet step gingerly onto my bedside rug) I say, sincerely, "Follow the Yellow Brick Road."
Again, obviously, the wrong thought. Am I incurably trivial? Eternally frivolous? Unable to be reverent about anything, even in the almost-unconscious state of half-asleep?
Irreverence is not a fault, I try to tell myself. I recently read a blurb for Anne Lamott's latest book praising her for being both irreverent and reverent. And when I read that I recognized once again that Anne Lamott is my role model.
But I worry that though I have the irreverent part down cold, the reverent part is lagging behind. Try as I might, the Ultimate Seriousness of Life escapes me. So far, anyway. Some people have it in spades and don't need to wait for the vicissitudes of age to drag seriousness up from the depths. (Of course, also, some people are too serious.)
All I strive for nowadays is acceptance of my self: this is how I am.
Ole.
Musings blog: http://www.scenesfromthejourney.blogspot.com
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