Off and Running

Off and Running

 

 

 

Well, I seem to be more interested in adjusting the little screw in the arm of

 

my spectacles than in responding to the dropped flag that signals the start

 

of this writing race.

 

 

 

"You're off!" says the flag. And there they go, down the straightaway, around

 

the first curve, back along the far straightaway. And while those engines

 

roar and those wheels spin, devouring the territory with speed—while that

 

takes place, one lone car, as sparkling a racer as any of the others, is left at

 

the gate, its engine idling.

 

 

 

The hapless driver (don't you love that word, hapless?) jiggles with the

 

starter button, revs the engine as she holds the clutch in, and then slowly

 

releases the clutch and guns the accelerator. To no avail. The car doesn't

 

move.

 

 

 

This continues for too long—long enough, in fact, for the pack of other

 

writers (er, cars) to have circled the track two times. The lack of movement is

 

a mystery.

 

 

 

Until someone on the crew realizes: the chocks are still blocking the back

 

wheels. Well! Well, it's the work of a moment to kick the chocks out of the

 

way and finally the car is off and running, though no longer IN the running,

 

having lost too much time to win, place, or show.  Nonetheless, she (it) is in

 

motion, hurtling down the gravel track, slowing slightly for the curve (notice

 

the skill with which she slide-skids the rear wheels on that curve—the work

 

of a real professional).

 

 

 

And the race is on. But as with most car races, the crowd is losing interest.

 

Even diehard fans admit (when their third or fourth beer coaxes honesty

 

from them) that the greater part of a car race is boring beyond belief. Round

 

and round. Round and round. No indication as to who is leading, since

 

some of the cars have lapped others. The dominant feature of the race is

 

noise. But if you look closely you'll see that many in the crowd are wearing

 

earplugs. Or even, in some cases, earbuds connected to a Bluetooth device

 

so they can listen to the baseball game on the radio for entertainment while

 

the race does its interminable thing.

 

 

 

And if the excruciating languor of a baseball game provides more

 

entertainment than a car race, well that's all the measure you need of the

 

tedium of today's race.

 

 

 

Nevertheless, let's give a little praise to today's last-place finisher. At least

 

someone finally remembered to kick the chocks out of the way and the

 

driver actually left her starting gate. We learn one thing from this fiasco: this

 

driver must be nice, 'cause those are the ones who finish last.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2025  Ann Tudor

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