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Sunday, March 30, 2025

Off and Running

Off and Running
 
 
 
Well, I seem to be more interested in adjusting the little screw in the arm of
 
my spectacles than in responding to the dropped flag that signals the start
 
of this writing race.
 
 
 
"You're off!" says the flag. And there they go, down the straightaway, around
 
the first curve, back along the far straightaway. And while those engines
 
roar and those wheels spin, devouring the territory with speed—while that
 
takes place, one lone car, as sparkling a racer as any of the others, is left at
 
the gate, its engine idling.
 
 
 
The hapless driver (don't you love that word, hapless?) jiggles with the
 
starter button, revs the engine as she holds the clutch in, and then slowly
 
releases the clutch and guns the accelerator. To no avail. The car doesn't
 
move.
 
 
 
This continues for too long—long enough, in fact, for the pack of other
 
writers (er, cars) to have circled the track two times. The lack of movement is
 
a mystery.
 
 
 
Until someone on the crew realizes: the chocks are still blocking the back
 
wheels. Well! Well, it's the work of a moment to kick the chocks out of the
 
way and finally the car is off and running, though no longer IN the running,
 
having lost too much time to win, place, or show.  Nonetheless, she (it) is in
 
motion, hurtling down the gravel track, slowing slightly for the curve (notice
 
the skill with which she slide-skids the rear wheels on that curve—the work
 
of a real professional).
 
 
 
And the race is on. But as with most car races, the crowd is losing interest.
 
Even diehard fans admit (when their third or fourth beer coaxes honesty
 
from them) that the greater part of a car race is boring beyond belief. Round
 
and round. Round and round. No indication as to who is leading, since
 
some of the cars have lapped others. The dominant feature of the race is
 
noise. But if you look closely you'll see that many in the crowd are wearing
 
earplugs. Or even, in some cases, earbuds connected to a Bluetooth device
 
so they can listen to the baseball game on the radio for entertainment while
 
the race does its interminable thing.
 
 
 
And if the excruciating languor of a baseball game provides more
 
entertainment than a car race, well that's all the measure you need of the
 
tedium of today's race.
 
 
 
Nevertheless, let's give a little praise to today's last-place finisher. At least
 
someone finally remembered to kick the chocks out of the way and the
 
driver actually left her starting gate. We learn one thing from this fiasco: this
 
driver must be nice, 'cause those are the ones who finish last.
 
 
 
 
 
Copyright © 2025  Ann Tudor
 
 
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